Friday, November 17, 2006

HELP how can i make things right again (total: all necessary version)? girls 15-25 HELP?

In elementary school:
class mates since the second grade
became friends in the fifth or sixth grade
(I don’t remember so I’ll have to rely on what my parents told me, same for more things in the following , my memory is horrible, but what I remember is right: no false memories).

Middle-/high school:
started waiting for her after school when she had classes later than mine (of course after I got a crush that turned into love, my first love): I noticed when her bike was or not in the place where the bikes are placed. After a few weeks or months I knew when she didn't have classes or rather when she left for home, so I waited sometimes for her because we go the same way: our houses are in the same direction but mine is further away.
after a while I found out that I could find her schedule on the school network so ever since I’ve been copying it so I could meet her “accidentally” (like before) on the way home without having to wait for weeks or months to start seeing when she leaves or when she leaves early because of a sick teacher or something.
when she was is the 4th grade (I was in third, redid the second) I send her four roses for valentine’s day (a service from school: €1.5 a piece), I've added a message like most people do, I wrote “I love you” and some stuff which made her think I send the four roses (great guess), (ever since) I started avoiding running in to her but still tried to see her as much as possible (without her noticing): I did follow her because I wanted to see her: I became happy (or rather euphoric) every time I saw her (I’ll tell later why became instead of become BTW valentine’s day was on a Saturday so she got the roses on Friday).
The next Thursday when I was following her (on our way home), she ran into me and asked if I was the one who send the roses and I told the truth about that. She told me she’d like to stay "just friends". the words didn't really reach me until I got home, after that I thought about it a lot and printed her schedule the same day (I already had copied it to my pc), the next day I gave it to her a minute or so before her first class started, she looked shocked (she never noticed I like and liked her) and took it with her (it was Friday) we haven’t spoken for the rest of the day or weekend (we only meet at school), later (don’t remember how much later) we just returned to the normal routine after talking it over (not really talking it over but just talking about it for a couple of minutes then just continue as normal until summer break). during summer break I started thinking about how stupid I acted (I almost always “over think“ everything but I usually like taking things slow or the severity of the situation don’t really get to me until way later).
after the summer break I just couldn't speak to her anymore, say hay or hallo, look her in the face or direction (as long as she looks at me or in my direction) or even walk past her. That is still unchanged.
she may know I haven't stopped doing all that stuff (recently found out) and started avoiding me.
I definitely want to make it up to her/ tell her the truth or something (and give a book I bought because of something I saw on her Facebook page and her future plan for a job) and also want to promise that I'll stop doing that stuff (I never lied to her and don't plan on breaking that trend).

Ps 1: I googled her name and found her Facebook and twitter pages this summer and found a few pictures on the site of my school (not a lot, more like five in total).

Ps 2: she's sweet, forgiving and really cleaver. I'm sort of dumb or rather she makes me act like an idiot, I'm older but probably not much more than she is, 1 or 2 years at most, I'm an 18 years old lame guy, and kind of don't like myself.

Ps 3: she was on my birthday once when we were in elementary school and gave me a book.

question: should I tell her that I'll stop stalking and stuff, also that if she'd like to know why I did it all she could ask me?

Additional Details
she knows I'm stalking her so I thought promising to stop would help her (even if it gives me more pain)
ps I'm not as bad as Usui from kaichou wa maid sama
ps 2 no she wouldn't ask me

Answer on HELP how can i make things right again (total: all necessary version)? girls 15-25 HELP?

You're young bro, so I'll help you out.

1. Nothing is ever gonna happen, so quit now.
2. The stalking thing.. can get you in trouble, so quit now.
3. There's other girls out there. This one isn't into you, and inductively, she isn't who you think she is (someone who will like you if you bring her flowers, etc)
4. Just gotta cut your losses and move on.

There are plenty of other girls out there, and it does get better. A few of them will be interested in you, just not this one. Sorry bro.