Tuesday, April 10, 2001

Do I have grounds to mistrust this girl? Was she after my boyfriend?

Sorry this is so long, but the story is actually quite intriguing. Your thoughts on this will be much appreciated.

A few months ago, I received a Facebook message from a girl I used to work with, giving me her number and letting me know she'd like to hang out. She was a coworker at the company I work at but had quit over a year ago to pursue a career in childcare.
I'd never really talked with or had much to do with this girl but I was up for a new friendship and willingly said yes.

I had dinner with her at a restaurant one night and we chatted a fair bit. I could tell she really wasn't MY kind of girl, she was slightly on the ditsy side, but I decided to overlook that and not judge her plainly on that. She seemed nervous so I did my best to make her feel comfortable.

I mentioned my boyfriend but didn't talk about him a whole lot. For me it was about getting to know each other. She mentioned that she saw us recently at a cafeteria but didn't come up and say hi because she was embarrassed of who she was with (she was with some "creepy" guy she'd met over the internet)
Keep in mind by boyfriend is very attractive.

As she started feeling a lot more comfortable with me, she told me about how she and her boyfriend broke up because some months ago she cheated on him while he was away. She told him a little while later after he got back. He was angry but they decided to continue with the relationship. But then he turned abusive and started beating her up regularly. They broke up after months of this going on, just before she contacted me.

The fact that she cheated was a huge turnoff for me, at the same time I felt sorry for her because she had been regularly beaten by this guy and no girl deserves that no matter what they have done.

She gave me a lift home, and I could tell she wasn't my ideal friend but decided to go with the flow, and as I gave her a hug and thanked her for a good night she turned and said to me,
"You have to introduce me to your boyfriend, I have to meet him sometime."

I was thinking to myself, "Already? I just met you!" I mean this is literally the first time we started hanging out. I told myself not to be paranoid and just see how it goes.

The second time we met up for lunch, we were just chatting about random things, and then she turns to me and says,
"How about you, me and your boyfriend all do something together?"
She then suggested we all talk a road trip to the amusement park in the next city.

By the way her birthday was coming up soon, and she was having a party, a chance for everyone to meet everyone! Why should we hang out with her exclusively? And why does she voluntarily want to be third wheel? And what was with all the nagging??
All these questions played on my mind.
She doesn't even know ME yet! Why does she already want to know him??

I had her added on Facebook, but I went and found her Myspace, and I was shocked at what I came across! She had all these slutty pictures she took of herself in her underwear and lingerie on her bed, in an untidy looking room, peering seductively into the camera and posing.
I mean there's lots of girls that take have pictures in their swimsuit and put it on Facebook, but this had very different message.

Despite this, I met up with her a third time. Whatever I was talking about, whatever funny stories I told her, it's like she was so disinterested. She was looking up at the ceiling, toying with her food, she looked so bored and unenthusiastic.
At one point she looked up and said, "I want a boyfriend."

I thought to myself, "Well if you meet someone you connect with then great, but why go around being all desperate with that mindset?"

I tried to suggest ways being single can be a positive thing, but she didn't understand a word I was saying. Then she looks up at me and says, in a slightly angry tone,
"When am I going to meet Dan?"
To which I replied, "Oh, don't worry, soon :) "

At this point I'd had enough. I thought she just wanted to get to know me! There are so many girls that are so much prettier than her, some with Facebook bikini pics, but I know if I was their friend they would be girls I can trust. But with THIS girl, there was just something about her I couldn't trust!

I never contacted her again.
Later when I was out with my girlfriends at the club I saw her with her girlfriends. I didn't say hi, I don't know if she saw me. Later that night I saw her with some random guy. They were full on making out and she was letting him grab her and touch her. They left together.

I later concluded this girl is a skank, my gut feeling was right. But the question I want to know is, did I do the right thing cutting her off? Did I have grounds to mistrust her? Was she after my boyfriend??

Answer on Do I have grounds to mistrust this girl? Was she after my boyfriend?

If i was in your position, i would probably havent had let her meet my boyfriend either. I dont blame you for doubting her and dont listen to what other people say when they say your suspiscious. I actually think it was very sweet of you to not judge and just meet the girl more and look past it. This may sound really weird but.....SHE SOUNDS LIKE ONE HORNY CHICK LOOKING FOR AN EASY TARGET! Think about it, you have a boyfriend, she wasnt interested into what you were saying and kept asking to meet your boyfriend. And dont you think it was pretty stupid for her to try find one on the internet?!

think about it....she wasnt interested in you, she was interested to get an easy ****