Thursday, July 11, 1996

I told her that her boyfriend of two years was cheating on her with me...was I right?

So I met this guy online because I wanted to jam (make music) with someone. We soon started sleeping with each other, but I always had an uneasy feeling about him. Like I didn't trust him. So I kept him separate from my personal life (my two kids, mom, friends, etc.). I knew from the start that I would never want him as a boyfriend, because he's younger than me (I'm 27 and he's 24) and seemed really selfish among other things. So I told him to let me know if he ever found someone and I would do the same. I don't like to share.

Anyways, so we would jam at least once a week, sleep together afterward, and hang out outside of making music sometimes. Well, one day I get a friend request on myspace and it's this girl I don't know and her profile is his face. I google her and low and's his girlfriend - HIS PREGNANT GF!

So I confronted him - over text message mind you. He wouldn't respond. So I figured everything I was assuming was true. I sent his gf a message with my phone number. She called the very next evening and asked what was going on. I told her about how long we've been sleeping together, sent her whatever texts I had from him (I bought a new phone and had already erased his number and texts), and asked some questions I had. Like, how long they've been together, when she got pregnant, when he found out, when she would see him, etc.

She was upset - naturally. But, she was also at his house and he was there telling her that I was lying, I had no proof, and just trying to hurt them. I don't know if she believed me. I told her I had phone records to prove the texts and calls, time stamps from the songs we recorded on my computer, but obviously I had no proof of the sex. How do you prove sex?? But everyone that lives with him plus other family members know we slept together. Of course they aren't going to rat him out. In the end, she told me she knew enough and didn't want to hear anymore.

I feel so incredibly bad for her. I feel bad that it happened. I feel bad that she's pregnant and now stuck with him for the rest of her life. I also feel really frustrated that I'm being called a liar. And I have to admit, that the situation is out of my hands. I wish I could make her see who he really is. I wish I could make him stop lying.

Did I give her too much information? Should I have told her? I keep running it through my mind because I would want someone to tell me...

Answer on I told her that her boyfriend of two years was cheating on her with me...was I right?

I know what it's like to find out that someone I'm seeing already has a girlfriend. It's a horrible feeling.
It's good that your instincts kicked in and that you didn't introduce this guy to your friends or family, especially your children. He's obviously a player and you don't want that kind of guy around your kids.
With that said, in my opinion, I don't think it was your place to tell this guy's girlfriend that he cheated on her with you. If I were in that situation, I would want to know what happened, but I would want my boyfriend to tell me. I kind of don't blame her for not believing you; I'm not saying that you're lying, but it's not unusual for girls to lie to other girls in attempt to break up their relationship. Hopefully she will come to her senses and make the decision that's best for her and her unborn child. Even though she is pregnant, she doesn't have to stay with this guy forever.
If she wants proof that he cheated on her, show her the texts and phone call records. If she doesn't want to see them, don't badger her. Just let it go. Good luck!!