Thursday, May 18, 1995

Friend in abusive relationship...if I do this, might it set her boyfriend off?

Hi, everyone. I have a friend that's in an abusive relationship, and I am doing -- and will continue to do -- absolutely everything I possibly can to support her and be there for her until and after she's ready to get away (we're both adults, 21 and 22, so neither I nor anyone else can force her to leave him -- she has to make that decision herself) but I have a seemingly stupid, maybe even selfish question to ask. It's been weighing on my mind, and as I don't want to make a wrong move that might set her boyfriend off, and have her become even more isolated from me -- possibly her only source of help and support -- even more than she already is, I have to ask.

Okay, so here's my dilemma: I really want nothing to do with her boyfriend, and I'm friends with him on Facebook at my friend's request. I REALLY want him off my page so he has no way to contact me, or to see my posts on her wall...he makes me uneasy, and I want him away from me. So, is deleting him for my own piece of mind okay, or should I just leave him there in case it sets him off, and provokes him into keeping my friend from contacting me? I don't know what to do. This whole thing isn't about me, and I'll be there for my friend no matter the danger, but I am still concerned for my own safety, and it would give me piece of mind for him to have no way to contact me. It's a fragile and potentially volatile situation, so, like I said, I don't want to do anything wrong here. What do you think I should do? Thank-you in advance for your help.

Answer on Friend in abusive relationship...if I do this, might it set her boyfriend off?

Well, for your safety i would 100% remove him. If you delete a person on fb they have no idea you deleted them until they decide to look you up and see that you have to send them a friend request. I'm not sure hw abusive he is so i couldn't tell you if he would abuse your friend if he were to find out you removed him.. I know that you might think this probably ridiculous but an abusive relationship should really be reported. I know some girls say they do not want out, but that's really because they think if they break it off then they will get hurt. I highly suggest reporting the abuse going on. Good luck¦¦ I really hope everything will work out.